Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
1 Corinthians 7:1
Paul is answering questions put to him about marriage. Paul was unmarried and recommended that this was the best way to be.
1 Corinthians 7:7-8 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
The reason for this is a legitimate desire for Christ.
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
So, Paul’s concern and recommendation is justified; it is a distraction from serving the Lord and in consequence of being married there will be at times trouble in the flesh.
1 Corinthians 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
This is one of those truths that rub many the wrong way. The reason for marriage is sex: “to avoid fornication”. As important as sex is in satisfying the baser instincts of the flesh, it is not what makes and keeps a relationship, alone it makes a sorry one.
1 Corinthians 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
Benevolence: compassion, kindness, generosity
- Disposition to do good
- An inclination to do kind or charitable acts
- An act intending or showing kindness and good will
Regardless of the underlying reason for marriage it comes with the duty to love one another.
1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
You have become one flesh. No one other than your spouse has any right to you body nor do you have the right to give your body to anyone else. Real love is when you, in accordance with God’s commandment, command your heart to love your spouse unconditionally: in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, till death do you part.
1 Corinthians 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
Do not deny your spouse the use of your body, sex, except for a short time of prayer and fasting and only with the consent of your spouse. To do so open’s the door to Satan to use your desire and lack of restrain to push you to sin: cheat, fornicate, and pornography, etc.
The life Paul lived is not for everyone.
1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
Whether you are both saved or not makes a difference as well. If you just want to live apart simply because you cannot seem to get along good enough to live together, then you have one kind of problem. If there is abuse, the Lord provides that a wife can separate herself, and children, from an abusive spouse for a time in the hope that the abuser will wake up and fix their problem. However, if both spouses are saved, divorce is not an option.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
I speak as to two saved individuals, which is difficult, as a biblical life can require the sacrifice of remaining unmarried if you cannot reconcile.
1 Corinthians 7:36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.
We only have to look at Mary and Joseph for the understanding of this.
Matthew 1:18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
Mary and Joseph were espoused, that is married in every way but sex. She traveled with him and most likely kept house, did his cooking and cleaning, and he supported her. Who knows how long they had been this way or how much longer they could have gone. She was his virgin.
2 Samuel 3:14 And David sent messengers to Ishbosheth Saul’s son, saying, Deliver me my wife Michal, which I espoused to me for an hundred foreskins of the Philistines.
The following aphorism encapsulates the essence of biblical marriage.
Marriage is:
A man sacrificing himself FOR his woman,
A woman giving herself TO her man.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
The emphasis on family is throughout the Bible, a few quick observations, however:
The proper order of ranking.
- God
- Christ
- Man
- Women
- Child
God condemns women ruling over men and children not being under control.
Isaiah 3:12 As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.
Marriage and family is an organization with a proper structure. The husband is the head of that organization. The husband is not given authority or right to force a wife to do anything. He is commanded to love her and sacrifice for her, she is commanded to love and obey him. It is for each to obey their own commandments.
Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
A husband cannot lead if the wife does not follow. A woman is commanded by God to submit,. But the husband has no authority to enforce God’s comments upon his wife. It is the wife’s obligation to follow the commandments given to her, and his to follow the commandments for a husband. Whether your spouse does obey or not does not alter your obligations.
If he is smart, hubby will realize that his best course of action is to make it as easy as possible for the wife to obey her commandments and show his appreciation. She is not a slave or doormat and it is best to let her have her say before any final decisions are made.
One more point that I think needs to be stated is that your loyalty is to each other. There should be no split loyalties. As an example: you honor your parents, but your loyalty is to your spouse. This applies to friends and other family members as well as your fascination with other things: sports, hunting, fishing, yoga, even the kids. You have an obligation to raise and care for your children, but the two of you are one. Be careful not to neglect one another in the process.
Now for the final and most difficult piece of the puzzle. I use my judgment; I can not give you a definitive answer from the Scriptures that cannot be debated.
1 Corinthians 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
If a brother or sister finds themselves in such a situation being divorced and cannot contain themselves, I judge they should marry rather than fight off fornication constantly. But, you should know and accept that you will be living in adultery. Except this and do not try to act as if you are not. That is, as such you will be limited in any ministry you may endeavor to do. Do not take or hold any office in the local assembly as an example. Everything written above still applies.
Romans 7:3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
Take note that there is no commanded to separate if married and living in adultery. It is just what it is, live with it. The Lord will judge all in the end.
Marriage in a nutshell.
Back To: Verse Insights
Views: 5
